When I was a little girl I hated wearing dresses, and would cry whenever someone forced me to wear one. I only wanted to play sports and cars with the little boys, and would insist that I was a boy like them. When I was an adolescent, I realized I was a lesbian, a very butch lesbian, and couldn't have imagined wanting to be with a man. I have only ever liked wearing men's clothing. The idea of skirts and makeup and pink makes me want to turn my tail and run in the manliest way possible. This is my story.
Except that it isn't. But it's the story that people want to hear. It's the story that is so ingrained in society's view of what trans people are that many of us have to tell it to our therapists, our doctors, our partners, ourselves. It's the accepted story of being a "real" trans person. It's the _____ trapped in a _____'s body story. And in many cases, deviating from this story can have dire consequences.
In a few weeks, I start the required therapy to earn my T letter (a topic that I will address in more detail in another post), and to get it I will have to tell my story. But which one should I tell? Do I dare risk opening myself up to criticism, and the possibility that my transition will be held hostage by someone who can't possibly understand my reality as a gay fem trans man? Do I act out the scripted part in order to earn the right to self-determination? My kingdom for cis privilege!
While I mull over that, here's something for you to mull over.
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